In times of worry I’ve always been the one to want to make things better. As a little kid if my mom was upset about something I was in my room making her a picture or offering to do the dishes so she didn’t have to. If the mood was tense I was the clown, dancing around trying to get a laugh. When I got older and became a husband, then a father, that need to make things better never ceased in me. I can sense when someone is off, so I gently dig and engage until I can help find the root cause of whatever the problem is and try to help work that problem out. If the kids didn’t feel good when they were little I’d play the fool and see if I could get a laugh out of them. If I could I knew they weren’t that bad. If I got the stone face or the thousand mile stare straight through me I knew it was more serious. When my wife is quiet and sporting that furrowed brow that only she can sport, I know something’s not right. I talk to her until she tells me what the problem is, or until she says to leave her alone she’ll figure it out.
I’m either a problem solver or just an annoyance.
I’ve just always been one to want to make people happy. If they’re not happy then I’m not. I can’t relax unless there’s a contentment in the house. I can’t please everyone, but I’m sure as hell gonna try. Maybe I’m an empath. Or maybe I’m OCD? I don’t know. I’m a pretty content guy. I’m pretty simple, really. If the house is cleaned, the bills are paid, and we’re stocked up on groceries then I can enjoy my evening. Have a beer or two, spin some records, and appreciate the life I’ve built with my family. I just want everyone to appreciate their lives like I appreciate mine. Maybe that’s selfish of me. Maybe we all appreciate on different levels. My levels are set pretty low I guess.
What is all this, you ask? Well, I’ve realized over the last few weeks that sometimes you can’t fix what’s wrong. Sometimes you have to sit back and hope for the best. Or at the very least hope the worst doesn’t come knocking on your door. Quarantine, social distancing, Covid-19, pandemic….words I’d never strung together in a sentence ever before about three to four weeks ago. No amount of funny faces or crayon drawings are going to fix this new world we’re living in. No amount of talking it out will make this thing go away. We just have to hunker down in our own little four-walled worlds and hope it doesn’t come knocking on our front door. And if it does, then I guess cover your mouth. Or swallow it as they’re saying stomach acid kills it.
So while I’m not there with you to talk about your fears and anxieties over the current state of the world, I’m offering you something else. Something you can listen to and maybe find a little solace in. Something to fill 20 minutes of your day while you sit in your home and try to work out your fears and worry. I created a musical piece called “Drones I-III”. It’s almost 19 minutes and is a song I created from three separate tracks I’d written and recorded over the last few months. They weren’t ever meant to create one sonic experience, but listening to them this week I realized they locked together quite perfectly. The glue to these pieces is a drone track I created. It’s the thru line. It’s the magic carpet you ride along on as it takes you through these movements.
I: A Walk Alone, II: Isolation, and then III: A Parade For One all make up this “Drones” piece. It may sound like kind of a downer, but I found it remarkably calming as I listened to it on a walk two days ago. It’s a suite for alone time. Movements for solace. It’s my gift to you.
I hope this song finds you well. It’s free to download, so I hope you take a chance on it and find some kind of calm in your day with it. If that doesn’t work, I’m happy to send pics of me dancing in a clown wig if you think it’ll help.