Decided at the beginning of last week that I was going to treat myself to a four-day weekend. Work hasn’t been very busy, so it seemed like an opportune time to take a Thursday and Friday off and give my brain a break from the 9 to 5. I’d been itching to dig into some horror movies with Halloween less than a week away. Plus, just some peace and quiet sounded like the perfect medicine for my melancholy I’d been feeling as of late.
Thursday morning I grabbed Celeste and we went for a nearly 3 1/2 mile walk. It was a crisp 41 degrees with the sun bright and clear in the blue morning sky. It was the perfect fall morning walk, and by the time we got back the pooch was pooped. She plopped down and proceeded to nap. I headed back out and cleaned the roof and gutters of the ton of pine needles that had dropped over the week. I hit the front and back yard as well, so by the time I was done it was a good 2 1/2 hours later. I think when it was all said and done I’d accumulated over 5 miles. I was pretty wore out, but I felt like I’d accomplished something at least.
With the temps hovering in the low 50s as highs, we’ve officially entered soup season. I made a big batch of ham and potato soup for dinner Thursday night and it hit the spot. Throw in a grilled cheese and the autumnal transformation was complete.
Of course it’s not an extended weekend without a cold dropping in to say hello, which is what I woke up to Friday morning. Chest felt heavy and I had that Barry White sound to my voice(at least the yardwork was done.) I decided to take it easy Friday morning and watched The Fog. It’s a staple of my movie watching diet, and I try to watch it at least twice a year. I never tire of the mood that movie puts me in, and as I get older I admire the shots of Stevie Wayne driving out to her lighthouse jazz-lite radio station all the more. Though, as I get older I do tend to feel anxiety when I watch her take those menacing stairs down the bluff. And the thought of her having to walk UP those stairs at 1am when she goes off the air is even more panic-inducing.
I took a break from the movie watching to clean the house, after which I went back to the Criterion Channel and watched Prince Of Darkness. That’s another that still holds up after nearly 40 years. I took a shower and headed into town to pick up a couple things at Karma Records. I picked up the movie Eddington, as well as the new album from Tortoise called Touch and a reissue of Grant Green’s album Solid(no surprise, it’s solid.) I’ve listened to Tortoise on and off over the last few years but never really dug in. The new album is amazing. I feel like they’re in a category all their own. They sit in this space that occupies jazz, post-rock, krautrock, and experimentation. It’s really hard to describe. A singular sound and band.
Saturday I took a morning drive up to Three Rivers, MI with my best friend. We usually do this every few months. The last time we went was in July so we were overdue for a trip. We have a great time heading north, drinking coffee and having conversations. We usually hit up a meat market called Bullseye. I usually grab some donuts for my wife and I and maybe some of their brats that are out of this world good. I picked up two of their mango habanero brats for a flatbread pizza(it was good but very spicy.)
My wife took our daughter and her friend down to Indianapolis for a concert Saturday afternoon. While they were at the concert she met our oldest at their place for dinner and hung out till the concert was over. I was home with the dog. Our son and his girlfriend came up from Indy to pick up the PS2 and Wii for a Halloween party they’re having next weekend. So they arrived around 2:30 pm and I visited with them for a bit. He asked if I wanted to go get something to eat with them, so we went to McCalister’s Deli and he bought me some soup. Given I was dealing with this head cold the soup hit the spot. We had a nice visit, and then they headed out game systems in hand.
Saturday night was pretty quiet. Me and the dog watched Eddington. I think that’s a movie you either really like or really don’t. I liked it, but I think I could grow to like it more with a couple more watches. If the Covid times cause you anxiety or just anger, then you may not like this one. Covid and all the differing views surrounding the pandemic play a huge role in the movie. But it’s a great film with amazing performances from Joaquin Phoenix, Pedro Pascal, Emma Stone, and Austin Butler to name a few. If you like your movies to reveal more about themselves with repeated viewings and with a very dark humor streak then this might be your thing.
This weekend revealed to me that I’m missing the kids that no longer live here. I’m grateful for my daughter moving back in. If she wasn’t here I’d probably be pretty bummed out right about now. It was so nice seeing my son and his girlfriend. They’ve been moved out since the first of August and I’ve been feeling their absence a lot lately. I’d had a nice conversation with our oldest Wednesday night and that was a reminder of that absence as well. I’m busy enough through the week that I don’t really have time to think about the kids being adults and moving on with their lives. But seeing my son yesterday was a stark reminder that I really do miss him being around for our movie and music talks.
I don’t think a lot about getting older. In fact I don’t mind getting into this stage of life where things are a little slower, and my responsibilities to others aren’t as varied and urgent. I have more time to plunk around with my instruments and make weird instrumental music, or listen to records after work. I can fill the time during the week pretty well. But entire afternoons and evening when I’m by myself I have time to think about life and where we are as a family. We’re in a good place, but just in different good places. In those moments the physical absences are really felt. At least for me, they are. I’m good with being in my middle age(teetering just outside those “golden years” I hear folks talking about), but sometimes it just gets a little lonely when I’m hunkering down in my own head. Music, movies, and books help. But sometimes I just have to sit in the melancholy and bittersweet and find a middle ground.
It was nice being off and getting some things accomplished, but like all things long weekends come to an end and another work week begins. Back at it. Next vacation isn’t until Thanksgiving, then the week after that I’m off. My birthday week. The big 52(is that really big?) Not sure what my wife and I are doing, but I’m sure we’ll take a trip. Day trips, probably. Fine with me. Anymore I prefer day trips as I don’t find strange beds all that comfortable. I prefer my own strange bed.
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