How John Got His Groove Back

Prior to starting anxiety meds my biggest fear was that the pills were going to somehow muffle my creative drive. Like they were going to rewire my brain in a way where I had no interest in making things; art, music, personal asides here on the old blog spot, or anything for that matter. As if just getting through the day to day would be enough for me.

Well, in a way it did sort of happen that way but for a very different reason. It was merely a week before I ended up in the hospital that I started Prozac, so once I’d gotten out of the hospital I was in recovery and new life mode. I was(and am) on a plethora of pills that are trying to heal up both my beat up ticker and my blood pressure, so that was a lot to get used to in and of itself. First just the new normal of pill taking throughout the day, but also just coming to terms with how close I let myself get to the point of no return(“How long…to the point…of no…return!?”)

Prior to all the medical stuff I’d been working on some music for a new, possible 2026 album of instrumental songs. I’d had 6 or 7 pieces of music on my hard drive but hadn’t revisited them for a few months. Last Sunday I decided I needed to create a working space upstairs for me to continue to work on music. Going down into the basement just feels lonely anymore. It was a great spot to get away when the kids were little and I needed to keep things quiet throughout the rest of the house, but now that two out of three kids are moved out, and our 23-year old works afternoon to evening, I have the house to myself. Creating in a room with natural light and above ground seems more appealing.

My wife and I decided making one of the spare bedrooms an office space would be a good idea. A place where our daughter in college can do her homework, as well as a place for my wife to work if she chooses to work from home. It’ll also be a spot where I can have some privacy writing, as well as to work on music. Last Sunday I cleaned up that spare room and brought up my keyboards and recorder and set up a little music spot in the corner. We will be bringing up the desk from the basement studio as well, once my rib is completely healed up(don’t want to re-injure that.)

Yesterday afternoon after a morning walk with my best friend, and then another walk with the four-legged queen we call Celeste I got cleaned up and sat down to check them out. After a couple hours I’d compiled them into two long “suites” of sorts. That creative fire had been relit. In fact, I don’t think that creative fire was ever completely out during this whole time. It had just been set to simmer, I guess.

I’ve even gotten a concept behind this new project, and a title. It’s going to be called My Cosmic Heart. Of course the heart is going to be the core of this thing as it’s been the core of me and all my thoughts for awhile now. I’m really excited to get going on this thing and see what comes of it. With what I have already I’d say it’s close to halfway being done. Like I do, I immediately jumped into artwork ideas and while I could come up with something myself(had ideas in my head, dontcha know), I reached out to one of my oldest friends and one of the best artists I know to see if he’d be interested. He said sure, so that’s one less thing I need to think about.

I don’t know, I’m just excited to have something creative in the works. The meds didn’t tamper down the process, they merely allowed some mental healing in order to find that creative place again.

Happy Monday.