Been A Minute…

Hey all.

Sorry for the absence. It’s that time of year where I put in some vacation time and unplug, spending my time off recording music, painting, watching movies, and spinning records. Also, just attempting to rid my brain of all the toxic waste that’s left in my head thanks to working for a giant medical corporation.

So the truth be told, I was supposed to work all last week and then have this week off. But thanks to an all-employee meeting a week ago the beans were spilt and it came out that there were large bonuses paid out to some employees and not others. Of course senior management got the cream of the crop, but so did office workers and regular old hourly employees like me. I can’t explain completely what these bonuses were for, as those that received them signed NDAs so as not to talk about them. Of course, most of these employees can’t keep their traps shut so it got out.

In the meeting a couple folks from Quality Control brought these payouts up and talked about how unfair they were, having to work side by side with someone that got these bonuses while they did not. I was confused and thought they were referring to the severance money we were to receive once our plant shut down for good. But afterwards we found out someone in our 4-person department got this money. Like, a 5-figure bonus. This was someone who has been written up countless times for mistakes made, and made such a whopper of a mistake that it cost the company thousands of dollars in scrap product. While the rest of us have exemplary work history and don’t spend half our day on our cellphones talking to our siblings and adult children(something else she does.)

So since then it’s been eating at me. I’m very grateful and thankful that I get to continue to work and provide insurance for my adult kids, as well as my wife and I. And that I have paid vacations and get to work in a climate-controlled factory and with one of my very good friends. I’ve been there 25 years, I don’t want to have to start over at 50-years old. So I am pleased as punch that I’m still gainfully employed, and from the sound of it I will be for a long time. Long enough to retire? I don’t know. But the next 5 to 10 years looks pretty good.

But this behind closed doors shenanigans, handing out big, chunky paydays to random employees isn’t something I can just say “Oh well” to. The rumors are that these are retention bonuses, given so people would promise to stick around and not leave for other jobs. So I guess those that didn’t get it they couldn’t care a less if we stay or go? The cat is out of the bag, so I feel they should at least come clean and explain themselves. It’s the least they could do. Everyone in that plant stuck it out the last three years, knowing that our jobs were ending. Sure, a year’s pay at the end of the rainbow is a pretty good reason to stick it out. But the whole reason we’re now staying open is because we stayed and continued to work and produce product.

All I’m saying is fair is fair.

So last Wednesday I decided I needed to not be at work. I needed more time away than what I’d planned, so I put in for Thursday and Friday and got out of dodge.

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The last few days have been spent on doing things I wanted to do. I’m finishing up a painting and have an idea for another one. I’ve been spinning tunes, enjoying some fine IPAs, and have been working on music. I’ve also been taking 3-4 mile walks everyday. It’s been cool out, but not too cold. That changes today. It’s going to be highs in the 30s and lows in the 20s for the foreseeable future here in the Midwest. And of course we’re going to have the first truly cold Thanksgiving in years on one that the wife and I are doing a 5K Thanksgiving morning. Oh well. As long as it’s not raining on us I can handle it.

One of the things I’ve been messing with is this Roland P6 Creative Sampler. I’ve been wanting to mess around with a sampler for a long time. Dig into my Madlib/J Dilla fantasies and see what I could do making hip hop beats. Plus, experimenting with beat making for my own musical excursions seemed like a good idea. Well it arrived last Wednesday from Sweetwater and Thursday morning was spent me getting equal parts excited and frustrated. I’m relying on the kindness of Youtube to show me the way. So far it’s been rough going.

I’m not a very technical guy, but I can take instructions well as long as they’re clear and delivered as if they’re being aimed at a small child. Most of these Youtube tutorials seem to start as if we’re already halfway thru the instructional session. Meaning, they seem to be talking to people that already know what the hell they’re doing. I need Samplers For Dummies, not Samplers For People Already Familiar with Samplers. These folks making these videos obviously know what they’re doing, but I don’t.

You remember the old days when an instruction manual was included with electronics? Yeah, me too. Nowadays it’s a link to a PDF file, so you then have to have your computer open while dinking around on this little plastic box. As opposed to having a paper manual you can fold and mark up as needed. Even my Tascam 8-track digital recorder came with a book manual. What’s the deal Roland?

Despite frustration setting in, I did make some progress. I can make beat patterns, so that’s something. And I know how to sample sounds to integrate them into the process. My wife asked me if I wanted to just return it -and the thought did cross my mind- but for the price it just seems silly to do that. This isn’t rocket science. There’s probably 10-year olds that mastered it right out of the box, so this nearly 51-year old can figure it out as well. I mean, it was $219. It didn’t break the bank. So I’m going to keep at it and not abandon it like I have with other stuff I’ve bought in the past.

I will conquer you, Roland P6. Or maybe my son will, then he can teach me.

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So despite last week’s bit of betrayal, I’m still enjoying my time off. The walks help with clearing my head, and diving into some creative outlets keeps my head and heart engaged. And it’s Thanksgiving week, my favorite holiday. Though, if truth be told I’m not as “in the mood” for togetherness as I’d like to be. The fact of the matter is is that everyone’s older and have their own things going on. Our oldest is staying in Indianapolis with their girlfriend and spending it with their girlfriend’s brother’s family down there. Our son and his girlfriend are going to her family’s dinner. Our middle kid will come over, but we’re not having any big celebration. I bought a turkey breast and will roast that, along with some mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and some rolls. Just the three of us.

With the 5K in the morning and most everyone else doing their own thing I just didn’t feel like making a big deal out of the day. I talked to my mom and she said she didn’t feel like hosting or doing anything, so I guess my brother and sister-in-law will have to just stick with one big meal at his mother-in-law’s house.

Is this me being all humbug-y? Maybe. Maybe I’m just tired of having to make all the decisions. Even with me not making decisions I’m still making a dinner. Even with my mom saying she didn’t want to do anything she’s still sad and disappointed. We’re picking my parents up early tomorrow afternoon and going to our favorite Mexican restaurant in Fort Wayne for a dinner with just the four of us. So we are eating together, just not on Thanksgiving. And not turkey.

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So this is why I’ve been absent for a bit. I’m not dead or in jail, or no head injury that caused amnesia. I’ve just been trying to decompress and truly unplug. So far it’s working and I’ve been productive creatively. Hope your Turkey Day is a good one, and you spend it however you want.