Long Week, Quiet Weekend, Another Throat Punch From Jack Frost, Another Brick In The Wall

It’s been a long week. The cross training continues at work, with my second week learning the many laborious facets of shipping. I’m done already with this crap, and there’s still more to be dumped upon me.

My workmate of nearly 27 years told me he’s retiring May 1st. Said he can’t do this cross training as it’s affecting him mentally, which is working its way to physically as well. He’ll be 62, so he’s very close to the right age. But he was hoping to work a couple more years to get his retirement 401K in better shape. No point in sticking around longer only to retire in bad health. Besides, this is the guy who’s gone through both neck cancer and a triple bypass in the last three years.

I don’t blame him, but I’m still sad about it. We started the same day in 1999 and went through orientation together. We basically got each other through those first few hard years here. I’ll still see him as we’re close outside of the plant, but coming in here will be a lot more of a drag.

After the last three months my brother went thru(cancer scare), the universe added insult to injury by taking his dog of 13 years as well. They had to put their Rooney to sleep Wednesday. He’d been going downhill for awhile, but he got worse and he needed some peace.

My brother made it out of it all with no cancer, just a benign mass on his kidney. But I know it all still took a toll on him. It took a toll on me, I know that.

I know I shouldn’t care about all of this stuff going on at work. I should be thankful everyone in my life is healthy and there’s no cancer for my bro and I’m still getting paid with insurance and a ton of vacation. But I am still out of sorts. I think it’s the culmination of several months of worry and anxiety. I feel it in my head like cement poured into my sinuses. My head feels like it’s 30 lbs sometimes. Like I’m a medicine ball with a face.

It feels like a big cry just waiting to come out, but I’ve been too busy to do so.

I’m planning on delving into more projects this weekend since it’s going to be -30 with the windchill. A painting and a song to finish up, plus spinning records. That’s usually the best medicine for a worn out soul. And maybe I can work in that cry.

You never know, right?