I’m Just Not Cool Anymore

I think there’s a pretty cool argument to make that I was, in fact, never cool. I wouldn’t put up a fight in that argument. But when you’re a dad and for almost two decades you -raise, nurture, intentionally play the clown for a laugh, build blanket forts in the living room, watch Disney cartoons […]

Everything Reminds Me Of My Mortality And Other Fun Revelations

Monday night I noticed our 11-year old dog was starting to limp. I’d gotten home from work and he seemed his fine, his over-excited self yelling at me as soon as I walked through the door for his treat. This is what we do; this is our ritual. As soon as I get home he […]

ThanksGiving, 2021 Edition

It’s been kind of a rough few days, honestly. Started feeling lousy last Wednesday and it’s been an on again, off again party of feeling good and feeling like crap. Puts me in mind of a year ago when we were locked in with Covid over Thanksgiving. Though in a really strange way there was […]

KGB Nights

The early work of Oneohtrix Point Never just connects to me, man. His stoner, psychedelic ambient drones and wonky electronica from the early 2000’s to 2009 were assembled as a compilation called Rifts, which took albums Betrayed In The Octagon, Zones Without People, Drawn and Quartered, The Fall Into Time, and Russian Mind into one […]

First Mow Of The Season, Missing My Oldest, More Middle-Aged Pain

This past weekend was the official first mow of the summer season 2021. Honestly, I should have officially mowed about two weeks ago but just hadn’t gotten around to it. I climbed the roof, blew the pine needles off, as well as cleaned all the gutters. My new roof looks new once again. Then it […]

19th Nervous Breakdown(Going On 20)

It was a weird week. Hell, it’s been a weird last few months if I’m being honest with myself. The pandemic uncovered a lot of latent anxiety in me that I didn’t know how close to the surface it actually was. Surprising moments of panic and worry that would hang out for a couple days. […]

I Don’t Remember How To Smile In Public

People are getting shots, and masks will be coming off. How do I smile in public anymore?

Writing Music Again, Creative Space, and Tamping Down The Dread…

Lately, creating music has become a fun thing again. For quite some time I’ve felt like I’ve just been treading water musically, so to speak. The process of writing and recording had always been my favorite thing; micing amps and drums, getting levels, finding that perfect tone, and making what I heard in my head […]

Post Holiday Dread…Feelin’ It, Man

I feel like I’ve been working towards this for awhile now. Probably since October. It seems like one thing after another has been piling up, leading to some massive mental and anxiety blowout. We got back from vacation in October and found out the transmission was shot in our van, so that was a couple […]

Existential Fear and the Great Unknown

Been having some anxiety flair ups the last couple weeks. Out of nowhere it feels as if the bottom of my stomach falls out and my brain feels as if its stretching like saltwater taffy into non-existence. It’s the dread of something right behind me that I can’t see. Something looming, ominous and dangerous, just […]