14 years, Music For Dealing With loss, Four-Legged Friends

I try not to take up too much time on here talking about MY music, as in music that I make. I prefer to keep this a place for my thoughts on the music I listen to and soundtrack my life with. And yeah, I’ll occasionally talk about movies and books as well. I put music, film, literature and painting all in a category of enjoyment and obsession. These are the things which I have enjoyed and obsessed over most in my life. Those are the things that have been thru lines in my life, going back to my scruffy-haired, preschool days. I like keeping this space for my adoration of the arts that made me, as well as talking about my life itself…and as of late the world becoming one giant Christian Nationalist dumpster fire.

Occasionally I’m moved to write and create my own music. I’ve done it for over 30 years now, ever since I bought my first Tascam 4-track recorder at the end of 1993. My recording skills and writing skills were in need of refinement back then, but you gotta start somewhere. After three decades I think I’ve improved.

So today I’m sharing something new. It’s a couple songs that I culled together into two longer pieces. Music I wrote in the latter part of 2024 and into early 2025. These were inspired by our old dog Otto, who we had to put down in December of 2024, three days after my 51st birthday. Writing these songs I knew where the inspiration was coming from, it was coming from a place of sadness for both watching our miniature schnauzer get slower as the fall months of 2024 moved on. It got me thinking about not only him, but just the passage of time itself and I started reflecting on myself and the aches and pains that come with age and “overdoing it”. It got me thinking about my children getting older and moving out and my own melancholy seeing that and trying to get used to the new norm.

But mostly, this music was about and for my love for a dog named Otto. All that he brought to our family in November of 2010 and what he did for us as a family unit. We only got better with him in our lives. We gave him a home; a place to sleep, eat, play, and protect for 14 years. He gave us companionship, lots of laughs, a completeness in our family unit, and most of all limitless love. Whenever you were down, Otto knew it and would cuddle next to us on the couch.

The last 3 or 4 years as the kids got older and busier with school and friends and jobs, a lot of the time it was just Otto and myself at home. My wife’s work kept her busy as well, so Otto and I would watch TV together or go out back and play while he still had the energy for that. He was my horror movie buddy, and as long as I had a treat ready for him when I’d go out to the kitchen he was more than happy to chill out with me.

The last 2 or 3 months he didn’t have much gumption to do much else. He couldn’t jump up on the couch, or even climb the stairs my wife bought for him, so I’d pick him up and set him up on the couch with me. We’d take little walks, maybe three or four houses down from us each way. He’d do his business and we’d go back.

I’ve gone over all of this in the past, so I won’t rehash those sad feelings. During his last months and after he was gone I was downstairs putting those feelings into instrumental music. Those pieces I put together to make the two songs that make up Fourteen Years, a mini-album dedicated to the memory of our good boy Otto.

If you feel like it, give it a listen. Download it for free, or drop a couple quarters in the jukebox before hitting play. There’s also a link on the BC page where you can donate to our local animal welfare league. Otto did not come from the AWL, but our daughter’s dog Celeste did. I hope you enjoy it regardless.