In The Cold, Doing The Work, Missing My Four-Legged Friend

Well we are in the thick of it, folks. The cold has arrived and plans on sticking around for a bit. It’s currently 10 degrees with a nice northerly wind that slaps hard every time I open the door at work. Within about 5 minutes the indoor temp on the dock went from 65 to 56 degrees. We’re bundled like a couple arctic explorers looking for Cthulhu. By noon I felt I’d worked 12 hours and was ready for a nap.

It seems this is just a dress rehearsal as next week we’re looking at highs in the single digits and lows with wind chill around -25.

Whillickers.

But hey, it’s winter in northeast Indiana. That’s the name of the game. At least it was when I was a kid. Nowadays it’s more of a spotty affair, with rain and mud filling in for snow these days. A year ago we had a very similar winter gut punch with a polar vortex hitting the weekend of Martin Luther King, JR Day. Friday started out with sleet and slush and by Saturday/Sunday we dropped to sub-zero temps and mounds of snow. I think by mid-week it was back up into the 40s. I don’t see 40s for us anytime soon. We’re supposed to get another 1 to 3 inches of snow today through tomorrow, so there’s that.

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I’m taking Thursday and Friday off this week as part of my “Combine Vacation Days With Company Holidays” policy. So a 5-day weekend is in order. I ordered a stereo shelving unit and am planning on setting all of that up. Recently picked up a vintage Pioneer amplifier so I’m possibly going to set that up as well. Just depends on how many inputs it’s got. I’ve got a turntable, CD player, cassette player, and my TV I run into my current receiver. So if I can’t run everything I’ll have it set up for the stereo setup downstairs, which I’m working into a proper writing/recording area. So really, it’s a win-win situation.

Besides working on the Feng Shui at home I want to work on some painting and finish up some songs I’ve been working on as well. Was trying to work on the music at least twice a week, but the last couple weeks have proven challenging for that. Still doing some sketching so I’m keeping those creative juices flowing. S’all good, man.

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I’ve been keeping up on my exercise regiment as well. Hitting the Y and doing a hard hour on the treadmill. I’ll start out at 3.8 speed with a 3 incline, bump it up to a 7 incline, then finish at 4.0 speed and 10 minutes at a 10 incline. I “used” to go full 15 incline at a 4.0 speed, back in the day. Maybe I’ll get there again, but I feel pretty good with where I’m at at the moment. I hadn’t started any strength training, but yesterday I went home after work and did 25 minutes with the resistance bands and my 20 lb dumbbells. I also worked in push ups and crunches. Finished it out with some old school jumping jacks.

I felt like I’d done some work but wasn’t sure just how much till today. Wow, I’m sore as Hell! Shoulder and forearms are burning today, but in a good way as opposed to the bad way when you feel that way and haven’t done a damn thing. Got an afternoon lunch date with my wife after work, then I’m getting groceries. After that I’m going home and doing maybe 10-15 minutes of stretching and free weights, then hopefully get that stereo cabinet set up.

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I don’t know what it is but I feel like since January 1st I just feel genuinely better, both physically and mentally. I think starting December out with having to say goodbye to our dog it set the pace for the month for me, and in general 2024 was just kind of a shit show. I always felt like I was on the cusp of getting sick or my back was sore or I pulled a muscle or anxiety would pop up out of nowhere. I was telling my wife that the last year I was just on high alert about the dog, worrying about him knowing he was old and that he was declining slowly. That is until the last week when that decline increased incredibly.

I never wanted to go anywhere, so being in Colorado for a week in July was not a fun time despite it was supposed to be fun. I was just worried about home and how he was doing. I was worried he’d die while we were gone and my son would be there to have to deal with everything. The year was one long dread-inducing thing after another.

Getting out of that year and passed that enormous loss has been like a massive weight lifted. I feel healthier, like I’ve broke down some psychic wall of dread and doom. I see some light and feel like evolving myself both physically and emotionally is possible.

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Having said that, I still miss my Otto incredibly. I saw a picture of him on my phone yesterday and got very emotional, which lasted most of the night. I thought about the picture of him that my son took in the car as he sat in the front seat on his final drive. He looked so beat up, tired, yet there was something in his eyes and the way his beard was disheveled that it looked like he was smiling. At ease, even. The memory of myself, my wife, son, and my son’s girlfriend all enveloping his still body on the table at the vet came rushing back. So overwhelmed in sadness, yet relieved he went so peacefully as if he was ready. I think he’d been ready for the last few days previous. I have no regrets about taking him in, but damn I still miss the hell out of him. The house is slightly less a home now.

So that’s what’s going on here. Dealing with life and all that it has to wing at my head and heart.