Hip Pop Hooray

My parents have been married for almost 56 years. My mom was 18 and my dad was 21. Was it what you’d call a shotgun wedding? Well, my older brother was born three months later, so you can do the math. But regardless of the circumstances they’ve remained married, and mostly happily, ever since.

Little differences between them? My dad is 6’3″, while my mom is 5’6″. Dad’s a big coffee drinker while mom hates’ the stuff. Mom doesn’t make nearly enough calcium in her body, while my dad makes way too much. The results of the latter means my mom has to take a pill that strengthens her bones so she doesn’t become the female version of Samuel Jackson’s “Mr. Glass”. My dad, on the other hand, has created so much calcium that deposits of it have formed in his body causing bone spurs. Bone spurs attached themselves to his right hip causing severe pain and difficulty moving.

Yesterday my dad went under the knife for a total hip replacement on his right side. After nearly two years with pain he thought was from an old back injury, he discovered there were so many bone spurs in his hip that if he’d waited any longer his hip would have fused and that would have been it. So lucky for him he went to the right doctor at the right time and was able to get a surgery scheduled within a month of initially seeing the orthopedic surgeon(much like my own situation with my herniated disc in 2016).

I met my parents and older brother at the Surgery Center – a walk-in orthopedic clinic that is fairly new in town – at 6:30 am. After the initial registration we waited for about a half hour before a nurse came out and took my mom and dad back to the pre-op area. We all ended up going back once he was settled in and his vitals were taken. We met Dr. Penny who was doing the surgery, as well as the anesthesiologist who was the perfect mix of professional and smart-ass, a combination that was perfect for my dad. Pretty soon they said it was time for him to go, so my brother and I headed back out to the waiting room(my mom had left in my car to run home and let their dog out as apparently he’s got a very strict poop window between 8-8:30 am.)

I’d say the surgery was just under an hour. We spoke with the doc afterwards and he said the surgery went well. My dad’s hip was actually far worse than the doc thought initially, with the ball joint of his right hip going clear up into his pelvis due to the erosion from the bone spurs. He also said my dad’s right leg will be a little longer than the left due to extensions that were added to the implant(I wasn’t clear on that detail.)

After about an hour or two in recovery we were getting dad into my brother’s van and were on our way home by 12:45. I hung out with dad while my brother took mom into the pharmacy to get all of dad’s prescriptions(which included two painkillers, a muscle relaxer, nausea meds, antibiotics, and also some ramen and crackers(those weren’t prescriptions, just requests.)

The only issue dad had post-op was dizziness due to low blood pressure. That was due to the anesthesia. They said lots of water will help with that, and as the day went on the dizziness sorted itself out.

The doc did say that my dad’s back is in pretty bad shape. To what extent he wasn’t offering details, but dad already knew that. I considered telling Dr. Penny “Well yeah, he fell off the roof of their house in 2019” but didn’t really see the point. My dad has dealt with back issues(the fall, plus years of sciatica) as far back as I can remember. It was a trait passed down from his father, and from dad to his sons. I would have preferred his Citizen wristwatch, but I’ll take what I can get. My back issues haven’t been too terribly bad since my 2016 Discectomy. Just the occasional couple days of lower back pain that with the help of cold/hot compression, stretches, and my back brace are completely manageable.

With the surgery done, now is the time for healing and hopefully much better quality of life. In the words of my dad yesterday post-op, “If my pain levels subside at least 50% then I’ll be thrilled.” I’m hoping he gets past the 50% mark on the pain, but if he’s happy I’m happy. I know that over the last two months dad’s pain was getting pretty unbearable as you could see it when he walked, or more so lumbered, up to the house for our Saturday morning coffee. This Saturday I’ll be going over to their house with apple fritters in hand. His favorite. Mom, on the other hand, prefers the chocolate-covered Long John. Just another thing they differ on I suppose.

This Friday, the 18th, will be dad’s 77th birthday. We’re going over there around 5 pm with pizza and cake to celebrate. It seems we have a lot to celebrate.