The One About The Guy And Those Bose 501s

photo (36)Hey, did you hear the one about the guy that wanted to set up a vinyl-listening area in his basement family room? Yeah, he already HAS a decent set up in the upstairs living room, but it seems that as he gets older he prefers the solitude of basement dwelling. And being in the basement with records and dimly-lit lamps seems like pretty great thing to this idiot. He also likes to write. A couple Sundays ago, apparently, he sat in this lamp-lit basement room and wrote on his laptop in the absolute quiet. While the rest of the house was buzzing with activity and excitement above him in the bright afternoon sun he morphed into a ghoulish creature whilst sitting on a nearly 20 year old Lazy Boy recliner and wrote of nothing in-particular or of serious importance.

This is what I heard, anyways.

Yeah, what a buffoon. Why would anyone need TWO areas in their house to spin records? Seems ridiculous to me. I mean, I guess this whole idea came about when he found out some guy at his work has a pair of Bose 501s he wants to sell for $75. $75! That’s insanely cheap. I mean, pairs go for $200 easy most places so I guess when someone at work wants to unload some great speakers for a crazy low price, I guess I can’t blame this crazy fool. Sometimes the universe offers up amazing opportunities, like the chance to travel to Europe, or a dream job, or a hell of a sale on Ramen noodles, or in this weirdos case a pair of Bose 501 speakers for $75. Sometimes you gotta just go with the universe’s flow and see what happens. You might end up with some great speakers…or ramen noodles.

But that’s this other fool, not me.

I mean, yeah, having another area for vinyl-listening enjoyment would be a great thing. Another spot of solitude where one could slip away for a bit and enjoy spinning those black(or otherwise) circles with a cold brew would be a pretty awesome thing. Maybe the kids wanna watch Spongebob or some other crap on the TV upstairs, but you wanna just chillax with some John Coltrane on the platter. Sure, you could plug in the headphones upstairs and listen that way. And honestly, listening on headphones is always a great thing. But when Patrick Starfish is annoying Squidward Tentacles and the kids are yucking it up that tends to take away from the experience of the music. You can’t really get lost in the moment of the music. You’re just soundtracking a Nickelodeon cartoon with classic hard bop. Squidward might appreciate that, but not me….or I mean that lame brain I was talking about earlier.

No sir, not me at all.

I could, however, see the positive side of putting on some Hayden, Lizst, Debussy, or Beethoven as you’re working on an article under the warm glow of lamp light in a comfortably worn-in chair as steam rises from your cup of freshly brewed French Roast. It seems downright magical, really. There’s nothing like “Moonlight Sonata” playing quietly as one writes on the foibles of life and recollects moments in life that were pivotal points of personal growth and emotional maturity. The children laughing above you in the living room because Mr. Krabs said something funny at the same time the dog farted on big sister…I laugh under my breath, looking up and winking to the basement ceiling, a single thumbs up to the roof.

Well, I didn’t laugh under my breath. It was the idiot with the Bose 501s that he bought for a hell of a deal at $75. You know, that guy that can sit in his warm, comfortable basement family room and write crap like you’re reading right now in a comfortable chair while spinning Miles Davis’ Big Fun, or Baths’ Cerulean, or Wire’s 154, or even Steve Reich’s Music For 18 Musicians. I’m talking about that guy.

That’s definitely not me. That’s just ridiculous if you ask me.


8 thoughts on “The One About The Guy And Those Bose 501s

  1. Sounds like that guy has a pretty sweet set up if you ask me. Two listening spaces! I’m still working on my first proper listening space.


  2. The living room is silent ‘cos George Benson (early CTI album) has just finished. So’s the coffee, leaving that slightly bitter aftertaste that extends the sipping pleasure. Sounds of the home renovation next door drift in, but they’ll be submerged by the next spin…

    I like being part of this loose-knit society of vinyl anti-socials.


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