“Tell Your Friends”(for Otto)

Whenever I hear Dr. Dog’s “Tell Your Friends” I’m reminded of my wife and I’s trip to Colorado last summer. We were there to see Dr. Dog play at Red Rocks, that was the main point of our journey out west. The week in Denver leading up to the Thursday evening concert was not a very good one. The air bnb we stayed at was okay, but incredibly small. Like a hobble over a garage where all you do in it while visiting is sleep and bathe. This was a spot for people on the move and hitting lots of travel destinations and clubs and whatever people under 40 do.

So our nice, quiet home away from home wasn’t very comfortable. And the first day there my wife got extremely ill with a stomach bug that may or may not have been food poisoning. That pretty much affected the whole week, having to pass on our trip up to Pike’s Peak which was $150 down the drain. Our Garden of the Gods trip was completely rained out due to torrential downpours, and the only moment of zen was a trip to Target to buy a backpack in order to carry-on the flight home with some records and sweatshirts we bought while there.

We even went to a dispensary and bought some weed since it was legal. My wife did okay, but I must have smoked too much of the joint because I quietly freaked out for a couple hours.

By Thursday, the day of the concert, her stomach was doing okay but we were ready to get home. I was worrying most of the week about our dog Otto. He was close to 14-years old and not doing as well as he was earlier in the year. Couldn’t get around as well, and the hot summer was punishing on him. He couldn’t be outside for more than a couple minutes without starting to pant uncontrollably. He was home with our son and his girlfriend, which I trusted they’d take care of him. But as a complete worrywart I was in a constant state of anxiety about him.

On the way to the show the local radio station played a song called “Tell Your Friends” that caught my ear. I didn’t know who it was first, but figured out it was Dr. Dog. It was from their new album that hadn’t yet been released, and it was sung by their drummer Eric Slick. The simplicity of it hit me, as did the openhearted lyrics about appreciating your friends and loved ones while you can, as you never know when they may be gone. Slick wrote the song about his mother-in-law passing away and how it affected him. It was a sentiment that I’d been feeling for awhile. Of course it reminded me of my old four-legged friend at home. But it also made me think of my parents, my own friends, my kids getting older and moving away.

It made me feel quietly untethered to this place. I was elevated to this feeling of melancholy and longing that I hadn’t quite felt so strongly. Not since our oldest had moved out for good back in February of that year. Before that, when our middle kid moved out two years before that. It’s a feeling of helplessness, as these are things we can’t control. It’s life moving on, whether you have a ticket to board the train or not in order to move along with it. The song really shined a light on how I was really feeling about everyone getting older, moving on, and feeling as if I wasn’t needed anymore. Which is why my dog was so much in the forefront of my mind, as I felt HE needed me. And I was so far away from him. He was a daily reminder to me that life is fleeting, time does indeed fly, and if you blink one too many times it’s 14 years later. You’re older, a little more sore, a little more sensitive to the world around you, and there’s gray in your beard(or your head of hair if a beard isn’t your thing.)

I was happy Dr. Dog played the song live, which is when Eric Slick explained the meaning and inspiration behind the song. But I was even happier the next day when we made it to the airport and were on our way home. And Otto was okay when we arrived, but he was a little slow on the uptick when we came in and didn’t really realize we were there until a few minutes after we’d settled. Of course he panted for about an hour until I got him to calm down and lay on the floor with me.

Otto passed 4 1/2 months later.

So whenever I hear “Tell Your Friends” I get sad, but it’s bittersweet. I love the song and its sentiment. It truly is a beautiful song about love and never taking that love for granted. But I can’t help but think about my buddy Otto, and how much I still miss him 9 months on after he died. It’s the kind of sad and hurt that doesn’t hurt too bad, because it’s a reminder that I’m still here. And I’m moving on with life, whether I realize it or not.

I used to smile at parties, yeah, I felt so out of place
Thought I was good at hiding, it was written on my face
Blue nights we’d wander, promising we’d grow stronger
All of the things you told them, that would happen overnight

I used to see your lover at the diner by the lake
Silk City never looked finer when I watched you and your heartbreak
I was too young to know then, I hadn’t learned to show them
I wasn’t one withholding, it just happened overnight

Now that I’m old and wiser, it’s a shame to see the past
Holding a blurry image of the years that slipped through the cracks
Some of them made me happy, some of them made me sad
All of the things that felt right didn’t happen overnight

Tell all your friends you love them, you don’t see them every day