Radiohead, James Bond, And Growing Up A Little Sad

A couple days ago I was rifling through Youtube when I searched ‘Radiohead “Nobody Does It Better”‘. I vaguely recalled hearing Thom and company cover the Carly Simon Bond theme years ago on some live bootleg, or possibly in some fever dream while sick with a gifted virus. Turns out it wasn’t my fever-y brain tricking me as I found a video from 1995 where the band did indeed cover the Marvin Hamlisch-penned horny ode to Bond’s virility.

Radiohead were in the midst of promoting their first great album, The Bends. But instead of jumping into “Fake Plastic Trees” or “High and Dry” they give us their take on one of the greatest Bond themes ever(yes I said it.) I’ve kind of been obsessing over Radiohead for the past couple days ever since I watched that clip(three times.) Not only do they knock it out of the park, but they make that song feel like Radiohead canon. It sounds like it could be a Radiohead song.

This was a next level move, man.

It solidified my love for Radiohead(again), and sets them on another level few bands can attain. I mean, it wasn’t a band with their legacy set and with zero fucks to give. Like, if it came off as silly and trite it didn’t matter because they were already legends. No, this was a band with a newly released sophomore album still finding their footing. With The Bends their footing was solid, and covering this song unironically at full power showed a confidence only a band who knows who they are and what they can do can possess.

Watch the video below:

There’s something else about “Nobody Does It Better”. It’s one of those songs from my early childhood(came out in 1977) that lingered in my brain all these years. It’s a tune I’d hear a lot in the car driving around town or to my grandma’s with my mom when I was little, that when it came on I instantly locked into it. From those descending minor key piano notes to Simon’s vocals to the big climax at the end, it all enraptured my pre-K brain and made me feel the feels.

There were a few songs like that when I was little; McCartney’s “My Love”, Gary Wright’s “Dream Weaver”, Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself”, and even Leo Sayer’s “When I Need You” all affected my young head and heart in a very real way. I was a verklempt young Goy feeling the feels in a boat of an Oldsmobile as mom drove us to the grocery store. I was overcome with emotion at 30-year old white guys(and one gal) singing sad songs about love and lust.

I wonder if Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood felt the same way I did about “Noboby Does It Better”. Did that song affect them as much as it did me when they were little? Granted, they were a little older than me(Greenwood was born in ’71, while Yorke was born in ’68), but they were still little kids. In 1977 I was 3. My brain was still connecting the dots; dotting the I’s and crossing the T’s in a developmental way. I gravitated towards songs that were kind of sad, big, and emotional. Maybe that’s why I can’t stand the Eagles nowadays. Their music felt very anti-emotional. It was about Tequila Sunrises and Taking It To The Limit, not about sadsacks sitting at a piano lamenting being all by themselves.

I think my love of baroque piano-heavy pop came from being a little kid mostly playing by himself. An older brother too old to hang with me for very long, and too sick to go outside to play with at that time non-existent neighbor kids my own age. Between allergies, Bronchitis, and ear issues I was in the house a lot, and when I was outside a blanket usually covered me to protect my lungs from the cold. I was like the Elephant Man…or the Elephant Boy, minus the horrible disfigured face. But I was always propped up in bed because of congestion in my lungs, so there was that. A stack of Golden Books to read, a vaporizer putting condensation in the air tinged with Vick’s Vapor Rub, and the voice of Eric Carmen quietly repeating like a mantra “When I was young/I never needed anyone”. Turns out I did. I needed someone to apply Vicks and give me my meds every 8 hours. But besides that? I was a pretty quiet and lonely kid.

I did grow up and grow out of most of those childhood illnesses, but I never did grow out of those sad songs. They remained in my head like outfits in my closet. They might not fit so well anymore, but I do love pulling them out now and then and trying them on. I wouldn’t wear them out of the house(too modest to show off my love handles), but in the house with no one looking it feels kind of nice.

I’m guessing Radiohead dug the Bond flicks, too. Just like me. I grew up looking forward to watching Dr. No, Thunderball, and Live And Let Die on Sunday nights. It was one of the few times my dad and I both would sit and watch something together. Sure, we watched similar stuff when I got older, but at 5 or 6 years old he wasn’t all that interested in Rocky & Bullwinkle or Looney Toons. But Bond? You bet. The gadgets, the action, the mildly adult humor, and the likes of Ursula Andress, Jane Seymour, and Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore helping to connect the dots in my child noggin? Yes, please.

I’m guessing Radiohead were fans since they even wrote a Bond theme for Spectre, but alas it wasn’t used. Instead someone named Adele got the job. Their track was pretty great, though.

Well, if you hadn’t heard Radiohead cover “Nobody Does It Better” I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. It’s been rolling around in my head for the past three days, and likely will keep rolling around for the remainder of the weekend. Maybe I’ll go make a whole sadsack playlist for those days when I’m home alone, maybe not feeling too hot. I’ll pull out all my old toys in storage down in the basement and relive those lonely days.

Then again, maybe I won’t.