Hot n Cold…Cold n Hot

Man, this is getting ridiculous. We were hitting upper 60s and even a 70 degree day last week. Last Sunday the temps began to drop rapidly which brought in a monster run of thunderstorms which had the tornado siren firing off at 10:46pm. My wife woke me as I was in bed fast asleep. I was so disoriented between the seriousness of her face and the screaming blitzkrieg blaze of the weather alarm that I went into a damn panic attack. After getting myself together we spent a half hour in the basement until the immediate threat had passed.

Other than some limbs in the yard we were pretty much untouched(thank Christ.) But I think I’m done with these extreme weather changes. Mother Nature is sporting many different personalities, and all of them seem absolutely unstable. Now I know that 40 years ago the weather wasn’t completely predictable, but it WAS a hell of a lot more predictable than it is now. Snow in May, tornadoes in March, upper 80s and humid in September…what is this?(climate change, I know…but don’t tell your Trumper relatives that.)

But while I’m mentioning 40 years ago and how different it was I’ll get on my old man soapbox for a moment…

The four seasons of the year had their reputations and behaviors, and for the most part stuck to those behaviors and reputations. School would start late August/early September and for that first month there was some heat. You’d come in from kickball in gym or outdoor recess a bit sweaty and messy, and it was expected. By the time we entered October and fall break mid-month the leaves were changing and there was a chill in the air. It’s the kind of weather I like to call “Boards of Canada weather”, though most probably call it “football weather”. It’s that time of the year where dark, overcast skies are more prevalent. Hoodie and jeans weather, if you will. You could still mess around outside but a sweatshirt was suggested attire.

By the time November and Thanksgiving break was nearing the fall cool was replaced with 40s and low 50s and winter coats were pulled out of storage. Fall was nearly gone and winter was whistling right around the corner. From the first of December until mid-March it was the quiet months of winter. Frigid temps, snow blasts, and the hope that a snow day or two would fall into our laps. I was always a fan of winter as a kid. Besides messing around in the snow, there was a quiet that fell over everything when we got a nice amount of snow. And even if there was no snow, when those temps fell below freezing a hush covered the Midwest where I lived. It was serene, yet mildly creepy as well.

April would arrive and we’d see the last of the snow and frigid temps. Spring was coming around the corner, inviting thoughts of outdoor play, bike rides, and the countdown to the end of school. The only holiday to speak of was Easter Sunday, which while our family wasn’t religious there were old people that did go to church or at least went at some point in their lives so a ham, scalloped potatoes, and devilled eggs made an appearance for that Sunday.

Living in Indiana the next great holiday in late-spring was Memorial Day weekend. Cookouts, family get-togethers, drunk parents, and loud kids goofing in the backyard. That’s how we did it in the Midwest. Plus, the day before Memorial Day was the Indianapolis 500. I never went, but I heard many of the races as my dad would have it playing on his transistor radio in the garage while washing cars or tinkering on something mechanical.

School’s out end of May/beginning of June, which brought us to the hazy days of Indiana summers. Hot, humid, balmy, and always ready to drop a thunderstorm on your head. We don’t have the “dry heat” I hear about that Arizona and New Mexico seem to have. No sir, we somehow are gifted with Florida’s hot and moist August heat. Every portion of your body is glistening in sweat five seconds after stepping outside. It made for some pretty sweaty bike rides to the local grocery store for arcade games, candy, and a soda.

There was usually one family getaway in the summer, and that getaway was usually due east to Ohio for an overnighter to Cedar Point in Sandusky or Kings Island near Cincinnati. We were a single income family growing up, so my parents had to make that vacation money stretch. We took one family trip to Florida before my 6th grade year, but all of the others were Ohio amusement parks and hotel rooms with free cable. I was 100% okay with that.

Next thing you know, it’s late August/early September and a new school year began. Summer waned, and fall returned on time and in appropriate fashion.

Seasons nowadays kind of do what they want, thanks to us of course. But also thanks to what…just time? The aging of this rock we live on? Planets I’m sure age out, just like us. What other sorts of surprises do we have in store as this earth continues to age and be depleted of its natural resources. Maybe(hopefully) we’ll never find out. Maybe the end will be space junk hitting atmosphere.

Speaking of space, did you see that meteor that fell to earth in Ohio on Tuesday? From the video it looked like it could have been one of those disaster movies that Michael Bay or Roland Emmerich made famous in the 90s. They said it was traveling at a rate of 45,000 miles an hour, and I’m not sure what size it was before it broke apart. Fortunately it did break apart and ended up being chunks that could fit in a kids slingshot. I can’t help but imagine one piece the size of a bowling ball in some rural field and a farmer finding it, touching it, and getting space goop on him. “Meteor shit”, he’d say.(Creepshow fans, unite.)

All of this reminiscing to say, I’m done with the cold. Let’s get those temps back up in the 60s and 70s before April hits and we get another blizzard.