Lousy Smarch Weather

It feels to me like this has been the most inconsistent winter we’ve had in years. We had one stretch of truly brutal cold back in January and that was pretty much it. One big winter storm, plus some polar vortex-like frigid cold all in one weekend and week then that was it. By the middle of the following week it was up into the 50s.

As a kid we had well defined seasons. Spring was mid-march to May/June, which was then followed by summer from May/June to September. Then fall would haunt us until December when old man winter showed up, all curmudgeonly and brutalize us with snow and frigid temps till March. Then the cycle would start all over again. It was a system that worked, people. You didn’t have to like it, but we could count on mild temps in the spring and fall, with summer bringing heat and humidity and winter bringing the cold and wind chills.

We grew up with these phases of the weather and our bodies were acclimated to it. But this winter? It was 70 degrees yesterday. I walked at work twice outside during breaks and almost got a sunburn on my scalp. It’s mid-March. That’s not right.

As I’ve gotten older the sub-zero temps and highs in the upper 90s with 100% humidity don’t agree with me. I want mild temps for either one. But I live in the Midwest, so I know to expect both. But I at least expect appropriate temps for the season. My body is revolting against me when even in February it was rainy and upper 60s. I’m in a perpetual state of allergy issues. Things are blooming outside. The last two days I was wearing shorts and sandals, walking the neighborhood as if it was mid-June and I was getting ready to mow the lawn(my neighbor mowed last week.) Today’s forecast is storms and a high of 62 degrees. By Monday the high will be 36, with a low of 26.

The last couple of weeks I’ve just felt beat up and tired. Now it seems like the whole idea of the barometric pressure going up and down causing people discomfort is a bit of a myth, but I’m here to say I think it does indeed cause us to feel crappy. We don’t ever get a chance to normalize any specific weather condition anymore because it jumps around so much. Our internal thermostat can’t regulate what’s going on inside of us because what’s going on outside of us is so irregular and unpredictable. The idea of summer clothes and winter clothes shopping is pretty much non-existent as we’re in a constant state of flux. All clothes seem appropriate for all times of the year(those guys that wear cargo shorts in January to the store knew all along.)

Summer seems to have remained hot, though. Maybe it’s even gotten hotter. I’m pretty sure I saw some 120 degree days in Texas last summer. That doesn’t seem right(and I believe they had a cold shot a couple years ago where people even froze to death because the power grid collapsed.) I know we’ve had some 100 degree days here in the Midwest, but I can’t even fathom 120 degrees.

Listen, I just want some normalcy back in my seasons. When it’s supposed to be cold, I want it to be cold. When it’s supposed to be hot, I want it to be not super hot. But maybe just really warm. I’m not going to say something like “climate change” is the cause because certain people get triggered by that statement. I’ll just say these weather abnormalities are causing me and my body discomfort. These temperature spikes and drops in 24-hour periods are really messing with me.

This is the same area of the country that got hit with massive amounts of snow in the winter of 1978. If you don’t know what I’m talking about then go google that, “winter of 1978”. 7, 8 foot tall snow drifts. Essentially snow tunnels instead of roads. Kids were out of school for a week. We had a polar vortex back in January of 2014. Had a hell of a storm in early 2019. We even had some pretty nasty weather Christmas of 2022. But this year? Feels like the earth made some strange and cataclysmic shift and I don’t think it’s a good one.

But I’m no scientist or meteorologist. I’m just a guy who doesn’t get how we can drop 45-50 degrees in a day. That’s all. I think there have been disaster films based on this kind of stuff.

Nature wants to kill me.