You Lose Some, You Lose Some(But You Also Kind Of Win)

After a month and a half of hand wringing, evidence gathering, restless nights of sleep, and hesitant optimism(everyone else, I’m more of a reluctant pessimist or doomed realist) we had our day in court trying to get our daughter’s puppy back from the shit stain ex-boyfriend in small claims court. What we hoped would be a thoughtfully deliberated case by a small claims court judge, was in actuality about 7 minutes of a guy sitting on his high horse.

From the get go he had an issue with two young adults who had an apartment together, or as he put it two or three times “shacked up”. He made it clear he found that to be tasteless. That they should have been married if they were living together, but that they obviously weren’t mature enough to be married. That maybe their moms needed to cut the apron strings(whaaaa?), and that since they were “shacked up” that there was no way to prove ownership of the dog(besides receipts, our daughter’s name on the adoption form, and our daughter’s name on the microchip.) He basically said that he can’t order the shit stain to give the dog back, and that if our daughter had ownership that it would be the same thing. He then said they needed to grow up a bit and that they should think twice before “shacking up” with someone they’re not married to.

He ordered shit stain to pay our daughter the amount on the claim form(which he already had in the form of a money order) and that was that.

So here’s the thing, I had a sinking feeling that it might go this way. Mainly because there was no actual way to prove the dog was our daughter’s dog and hers alone. We know that Frankie was her dog, as did the shit stain, but since he stole the dog while our daughter was at work and took her to his parents house that was that. The self-righteous judge mentioned a law that proved his point. And if that was the case then fine. He didn’t need to put on his “Family Values” Big Boy pants and deride my daughter and the shit stain. If there’s a law that prohibited the judge from ordering the dog to be returned, then say that and call it a day. But no, his personal opinion of people living together out of marriage took front and center. He even took a jab at my wife with the “apron strings” bullshit comment(if the apron strings bit doesn’t show where this guy is coming from, I don’t know what would.)

If we’d known ahead of time that the court wasn’t going to do a damn thing about this, we wouldn’t have bothered. We were under the impression that a judge, even in small claims court, would deliberate with the evidence provided over a month ago by us(receipts, microchip, adoption papers, letter to the judge with background information.) Instead, he used his own antiquated moral compass to lead him in some righteous rant about shacking up and mollycoddled young adults. I don’t think he looked at any of the information we provided. It was an absolute shit show.

So what now? Well the shit stain gets to keep the dog. If the pooch happens to get loose and picked up, and someone reads the microchip they’ll call my daughter and she’ll get the dog back. Other than that, it’d have to be some kind of Seal Team Six scenario; men with long beards dressed in black sneaking on the hillbilly compound where these Joad people live and steal the dog back. I don’t see that happening.

So what I’d like to see happen is that my daughter works through the sadness, disappointment, and anger and uses that mental and emotional fuel to move on. She only had that dog for three months, but in those three months she connected with her. The shitty part is that the shit stain knew that, and while they were in the midst of breaking up he even told her he’d never take Frankie from her. That was a lie(and was in our evidence packet in the form of a text he sent AFTER he’d stolen the dog. The evidence packet the judge didn’t read.)

Basically the shit stain was an emotionally stunted, immature little gnat that was used as a punching bag by men(including his own father) that his mom kept around. He’d rather play video games five hours a night instead of have any kind of relationship. He wanted the convenience of having a girlfriend, but put no work into the relationship(here’s a lesson kids, don’t date co-workers.) His mom treats him like a pal, not a son, because I’m assuming she feels guilty for putting her own needs over her child’s needs. So she’ll support him stealing a dog. My daughter, desperate and brokenhearted over the state of that relationship, finds this dog at the shelter and realizes the dog is what she needs, not the shit stain online gaming in the living room. So in order to really get back at her for dumping him, shit stain takes what mattered to her most.

Back to what I want to see happen.

So despite the disappointment, sadness, and anger our daughter only has four or five months left of Beauty School, then she graduates. From there she can work on getting a job in her field. She’s working nearly 40 hours a week on top of school every night. She’s motivated to do something with her life. I know she hurts now, but in the balance of losing her dog and cutting ties with shit stain I still feel she’s in the black. That relationship was absolutely toxic and was affecting her negatively, emotionally, mentally, and physically. She went to the ER at least two or three times in the nine months they lived together due to stomach issues, and every time we her parents took her. Shit stain was playing videogames at his cousin’s house and couldn’t be bothered(or even contacted.) Frankie the dog was a major factor in her emotional state improving, and besides some allergy issues everything else improved. She’s now gone to the allergist and is on weekly allergy shots, so even the allergies have improved greatly.

Listen, I’m pissed off and disappointed for my daughter. I wish that court date would have gone a much different route, but I knew it wasn’t going to be cut and dry. Things were messy and entangled due to the fact they lived together, but I at least thought the judge would be a little more objective and would have taken into account the entire scope of the situation. Instead, he took the time to just deride two young people for living in sin(as well as deride my wife which was complete bullshit.)

In about two weeks my daughter is going to New York to visit her best friend who’s spending her entire Junior year of college there. She’s got an apartment and our kiddo is going to hang with her. They both need that, as her friend is struggling out there; away from her friends, family, and boyfriend. I hope that’s the emotional and mental reboot she needs(they both need, actually.) And when she comes back, if she wants to, I’ll help her get another four-legged friend. One that is hers and hers alone. Because as we all know, four-legged friends are truly the best.

Honestly, the last nearly two months have been an overly extended anxiety attack. Not the kind that has you in a corner of a dark room hunched into a human-sized fist barely clutching reality. More so the kind you walk around your daily life in, doing the things and acting the part of a regular human. But inside your stomach squeezes and your brain frizzle fries in your skull, trying to cover the dark thoughts with a blanket made of happier memories and future times without dread.

After yesterday, while disappointment and anger permeated the air I felt a weight lift. Not resolution or satisfaction, but the kind of weight that lifts in exhausted conceding. I’m in no way happy about the decision, but there is something in moving on. Nothing left hanging in the balance. The rocket ship took off, we missed the flight, so we’re forced to make due with where we stand and go from here. There’s more I could say, but I think I’ve said enough. Shit stain will always be shit stain. My daughter will eventually move on to a much better place and she will find happiness.

That’s what is most important. That’s what matters to me.